How to Overcome Shyness in Bed

 

For many men and women the joys of pleasure are overshadowed by fear and anxiety about their sexual performance. There are a lot of different reasons that do not make us feel at ease when we are with our partner. Usually it is a more complex problem, connected with self-image, previous experience or some discomfort you feel with your partner.

 

Shyness and Body Image

Do you consider making love in the dark only? Many men and especially women feel embarrassed to get naked in front of their partner. Negative body image is what can make your sex life less enjoyable. You may think that your body is not as beautiful as those seen in magazines and movies and as a result compare yourself with some ideal. This is a serious obstacle to a better sex life when partners share intimacy and have to be open to each other.

 

First step to overcome your shyness connected with negative body image is to change the way you think about your body. You should understand that there are women of all sizes and shapes and that your body is very individual. You may develop a healthier life style, exercising for example but what is more important – to come to terms with your own body.

 

Shyness and Experience

An unpleasant event in the past may also add anxiety to your sexual performance, making you less confident and as a result more passive. Probably your previous partner was too critical of your performance and that was enough for you to become closer with your partner now. Lack of sexual experience is also a reason why you may feel quite awkward with your partner in bed.

 

Talk to your partner about your fears and share your emotions to make him/her understand what makes you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps, you need to create more intimate relationships and have more trust in your partner. Your partner may help you in overcoming those insecurities if he or she understands what the problem is. If you failed to find common ground and your partner still ignores the problem, you should think twice before sharing a bed with him/her.

 

Shyness and Your Partner

You may think that your partner is too experienced and fear that he or she might be disappointed by your performance. Or this can be a case when your partner's sexual preferences do not correspond with yours. For example, he may prefer you to be more dominant in bed, while you derive pleasure from being receptive and submissive.

 

If your fears are connected with lack of experience, the easiest way is to ask your partner how to make him/her feel good and to guide you during lovemaking with words and actions. It is hard to deal with difference in sexual preferences but it is even harder to find two partners who have absolutely the same tastes in bed. Thus it is more important to find a compromise than feel awkward. In any situation, it is better to discuss it with your partner and explain why you like or dislike something in bed. After discussion you may change your views on certain practices or find a compromise.

If you feel like there is shyness in the relationship overall and not just the bed, this article might help.

If it is hard for you to start the topic you may use some help reading a sex manual or browsing a website together. The ideas you come across will prompt you what to do next.